Chapter 6(b) Non Verbal Communication

Our lecturer continues the lecture for chapter 6 and talked about the channel of nonverbal message. Those are spatial message (a specific distance maintain yourself and others), artifactual  communication (message that are human-made), smell communication (communication through odor), touch communication (haptic), paralanguage (nonverbal dimension of speech), silence and time communication.

We usually apply touch communication and silence in our daily life. For example, touch communication might occur when we’re comforting a person who is sad or down with sweeping his or her back as calm down sign. Furthermore, most if the time we keep silence if we’re angry and do not want to respond to others.

For cultural part, the gesture is the most interesting part out of facial expression, eye communication, touch, paralanguage and silence. I didn’t know that a sign means different in different country. For instance, an “OKAY” sign mean okay in most of the country but mean asshole in Brazil and Argentina. Moreover, boys should learn about the meaning of roses in terms of the amount. Different amount represent different meaning.

Chapter 6(a) - Non Verbal Communication

Winking is a form of nonverbal communication.

NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION

What is it?????

Well based on our understanding, it is communication without words.
There is no need to speak.


Nonverbal messages have many functions and some of the are defining relationship, expressing emotions, forming and managing impressions.
There are a total of 6 functions but that three functions are the easiest to remember because we use it in daily.

Defining relationship is a function that we use everyday.
For example, when we talk to lecturer we will always be polite and smile.

We can use nonverbal communication to express ourselves too.
If we are sad we will cry.
If we are happy we will laugh.
If we are stressed out, we will frown.
If our friends did a good job in something, we give a thumb up.

Besides, we also use nonverbal message in forming and managing expressions.
Sometimes we will avoid eye contact with people when we did something wrong.
Like in the class when the lecturer is asking a question, everyone will avoid eye contact and pretend that they are busy.

The other three functions are integrating nonverbal and verbal messages, structuring conversation and influencing and deceiving.

Structuring conversation is like in a conversation, we will give and receive cues.
Those cues are signals that we are listening or to speak.
Often people will nod.

For the influencing and deceiving, we can influence by offering support or affirming a statement.
We can use nonverbal gestures to influence others to follow our beliefs and ideas.
We can also deceive people by winking. We might use winking as a signal to another friend to cover a "white lie" which means that person already know you are lying to someone else.

During the lecture, Mr. Anwari mentioned that they are many channels of nonverbal communication.

• Body messages
• Spatial messages
• Artifactual communication
• Touch communication
• Paralanguage
• Time communication
• Eye
• Silence
• Facial
• Smell

I think that the channels that we frequently use are body messages, facial communication and eye communication.

There are 5 types of body movement.

• Emblems - thumbs up for good job
• Illustrators - holding up two fingers to say you will be back in two hours
• Regulators - Glancing at watch to indicate you have to leave
• Affect displays - Smiling, crying
• Adaptors - rubbing your nose

Facial communication

• Intensifying - feel surprised
• Deintensifying - covering up joy
• Neutralizing - cover up sadness
• Masking - pretend to be happy
• Simulating - express emotions that you don't really feel.

Chapter 5 (b)- Verbal Message

Today, our class continued with the previous chapter, Verbal Message.

And this is what we learnt about...

Disconfirmation and Confirmation

Disconfirmation is a communication pattern which we ignore someone's presence as well as that person's messages. While confirmation, the opposite of disconfirmation means your acknowledging the presence of the other person, the person's importance and your acceptance of this person. Four obvious practices, which we'll consider here are racism, heterosexism, ageism and sexism.

Racism

"Any language that, through a conscious or unconscious attempt by the user, place a particular racial or ethnic group in an inferior position is racist"

Racist languages for example, expresses racist attitudes. For example, by calling English American as "white" and African American as Black/ Nigger are very rude.

Sir Anwari actually showed us a video to describe the racism situation. A pretty hilarious video and you should watch it! Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xyhVO-SWfM

Sexism

Sexism is a practice or support favouritism that criticizes or having a bias towards specific gender.

How to avoid sexist remarks? This is how:

-Avoid disconfirming or confirming to statements or messages because of genders.

-Do not insult or attributes others according to gender bias.

 And also avoid sex-role stereotyping!

Heterosexism

Heterosexism is an attitudes, behaviors and language used to disparage gays and lesbians, language that presumes all people are heterosexual. 

Suggestion for avoiding heterosexist language:

- Avoid offensive nonverbal mannerisms that parody stereotypes.

-Avoid "complimenting" gay men and lesbians on their heterosexual apperance.

-Avoid assuming and individual gay person can speak for all gay people

Ageism

Ageism is a discrimination based on age.

Respect the elderly! Be patient with them!

Appearance do not change their young passionate heart!

Cultural Identifier

—Preferred terms used in talking to and about members of different cultures; language that is free of sexism, heterosexism, racism or ageism. 

1. Race and nationality- —Avoid labeling them with names they don’t like to be called(based on their skin,       colors, or traits)

2. Affectional orientation- "gay" or "lesbian" may be offensive

3. Age and sex- Respect anyone despite their age or gender.

Using Verbal Message Effectively

Language symbolizes reality (partially)

Intensional orientation- the tendency to view people, objects, and events according to the way they're talked about

Extensional orientation- the tendency to look first at the actual people, objects, and events and only afterwards at their labels.

Allness- forgetting that language symbolizes only a portion of reality, never the whole.

Language can express both facts and inferences

Languages that enable you to form statements of both facts and inferences without making any linguistic disctinction between the two. For example:

“ I love the color Red”   > factual statement

“I hate the bright color” > inferential statement

Language is relatively static

Static evaluation is the tendency to retain evaluation without change while the reality to which they refer is changing. For example, —A few years ago, you are different from where you are at now, so if you are known as a liar a few years ago and you don’t lie now, is it still fair to be called a liar?

Language can obscure distinction

Indiscrimination-is the failure to distinguish between similar but different people, objects or events.—Example: linking terrorist attacks to all Muslim in the world

Polarization-  the tendency to look at the world in terms of opposites and to describe it in extremes. Example, authorities such as police personnel- just because some authorities practices corruption and abuse their power, DOESN’T mean all police personnel are like this.

That's all for chapter 5 verbal message.

Thank you for reading!

Chapter 5(a) Verbal Messages

 

What is MESSAGE???

Messages
An interaction among the communicators using verbal or non verbal languages

Verbal : using words to describe messages or information to receiver
Non Verbal : using body gestures, slang ,facial expressions , sounds ,to describe messages or information
                     to receiver

Verbal Messages

 When comes to verbal messages

• words are used
• using suitable word to describe their thoughts and feelings
• convey effectively to receiver for understanding or agreement
• good communicators convey messages using right word and phrases 

Principles of verbal messages

1. Message meanings are in people
2. Messages are denotative and connotative
3. Meanings depend on context or abstraction
4. Messages vary in politeness
5. Messages vary in assertiveness
6. Messages can deceive
7.  

Disconfirmation and Confirmation

Disconfirmation : communication pattern in which you ignore and someone's presence as well their messages

• not the most polite way of communicating

Confirmation : opposite communication pattern--- acknowledge the person and the person's message

• more polite way in communicating with one another

Confirmation and Disconfirmation also refers to the extent to which you ACKNOWLEDGE another person

Areas affected by disconfirmation and confirmation

• Racism
• Sexism
• Heterosexism
• Ageism

Because of complexity and subjectively , both disconfirmation and confirmation opens up conflict especially racism , sex and age

Chapter 5 is divided to two part which is a and b. Part a is more on verbal messages.Mr Anwar will conduct some activity for the end of the chapter but i really cant recall what activity we have done during this chapter. I only can conclude that languages work much in our daily life. Use proper way to speak and think before you speak. That's all for this chapter. :)

CHAPTER 4 - THE SELF

Who are you?

What represents you?

How does others think of you?

Why are you, you?

When did you become, you?

Where will you become you?

Self-Concept

Your self-concept is your image of who you are. 

It's how you perceive your feelings and thoughts about your strengths and weakness, your abilities and limitations.  

• Social Comparison
• Other's images on you
• Self Interpretations and evalutions
• Cultural teaching

Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is the ability to discover things are known about yourselves and a process of discovering your personal development and understanding.

Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is a measure of how valuable you think you are. 

People with high self-esteem think very highly of themselves, whereas people with low-esteem view themselves negatively.

How to increase your self esteem?

• Attack self-destructive belief
• Seek out nourishing people 
• Work on project that will result in success
• Remind yourself of your success
• Secure affirmation

It is always good to have high self-esteem, but don't have overly high self-esteem that it becomes self-destructive beliefs. 

Self-Disclosure

Self-disclosure is an act of telling others about things that they wouldn't know about you - telling your hidden self.

Factors  influencing self disclosure:

• Who you are
• Your culture 
• Your gender
• Your listeners
• Your topic and chanel

Self-Disclosure's advantages:

• Gain confidence
• Be more truthful about yourself
• Make or strengthen relationship

Self-Disclosure's disadvantages:

• Lost of friends and trust
• Additional pressure and burden
• Living with regret

Class Activity 

Mr. Anwar asked us to write down the characteristic of those who have high self esteem and low self esteem. Below is some of the answer answered by students.

High self esteem: More confidence, more socialize, more active, more brave...

Low self esteem: Less confidence, less communication, more cowardly...

Besides, Mr. Anwar also asked our friends to define each of us. In this fun activity, me and my friends relationship increased and we know each other more well. 

Chapter 3 Listening

Today’s lecture is discussing about the “Listening” as defined as a specialized process, a type of perception by which will receive auditory signals. In other word, listening is the process of receiving, constructing meaning from and responding to spoken and non-verbal message.

We have to go through 5 stages of listening. Those are RECEIVING, UNDERSTANDING, REMEMBERING, EVALUATING and RESPONDING. Most memorable stage is third stage, remembering. We have a fun activity for this stage which lecturer give us a list of words and asked us to memorize. Almost all of us got to remember at least 15/20 words. I was surprising when our lecturer asked us whether the word “sleep” has listed. I ACTUALLY DID. OMG. Maybe those words are almost related to the word “sleep” and it automatically appears this word in my mind.

Listening is influenced by a wide range of cultural factors, such as difference in language and speech, nonverbal behaviors, credibility criteria, direct and indirect styles and feedback.

We have to learn some skill to emphasize our listening such as participatory and passive listening, empathic & objective listening, nonjudgmental & critical listening and surface & depth listening. I personally feel that the surface and depth listening is the most common in our daily life. For example, a couple has conflict for a small matter and the girl might request for break up. Actually she doesn’t mean to that but seek for attention from the boy. 

That’s all for today